STRESSES AND CHANGES IN A CHILD’S LIFE: TEMPERAMENT

May 2009
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All parents will know that no two children are alike in terms of their temperament and personality. Often parents will say that the differences are noticeable from birth; in other children they become more noticeable over time. The term temperament is now used to describe these individual differences. Temperament is believed to be intrinsic but also to be modified by the environment.

A child’s temperament is like a filter through which he experiences and interacts with the environment. It is the behavioural style of the child. Babies with a difficult temperament are more likely to be reported as having colic, sleep problems, and excessive crying, and as they grow older more likely to have temper tantrums and a slower school adjustment. Children with an easy temperament are less demanding of their parents, and generally easier to manage. They settle quickly into a predictable routine, are easily adaptable, and far more easy going. There are also those who have a slow-to-warm-up temperament. They may be somewhat difficult initially because they do not adapt easily to change, and take some time to get used to things.

It is not the child’s temperament alone which is important, but rather, the interaction of his temperament characteristics with the child-rearing style of his parents which determines whether there will be difficulties. A baby or child with a difficult temperament may make some parents anxious and insecure about their parenting. They may blame themselves for the fact that the child seems quite difficult to manage. Other parents may be able to be more accommodating of their child’s temperament. They will be more flexible in their parenting style, so that consequences of the child’s difficult temperament are minimised.

Similarly a child who has a slow-to-warm-up temperament also needs the understanding of parents. He will tend to hold back from new and unfamiliar situations, and react by crying or hanging onto the parents. Sensitive parents and teachers will be aware of this, and not push the child until he is ready.

As parents, you will achieve the best results by modifying your child-rearing style to take into account your child’s individual temperament characteristics. It follows then that there is no single way to approach children, whether it be feeding, toilet training, discipline, or any other area of functioning. Each child must be treated as an individual.

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