HOMOSEXUAL FEELINGS

March 2009
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This is another topic that always comes up when we talk in class about sexual and romantic feelings people have during their growing up years. ‘Homo’ means ’same’ and, of course, ’sexual’ refers to sex. Having homosexual feelings means having romantic or sexual thoughts, fantasies, dreams, attractions, crushes or experiences that involve someone who is the same sex as we are. Many boys and girls have homosexual thoughts or feelings or sexual experiences with someone of the same sex while they’re growing up.

If you have homosexual feelings or experiences as you’re growing up, you may realize that this is perfectly natural and normal, and you may not be at all worried about it. Or, you may feel somewhat confused or upset or even frightened about having these kinds of feelings or experiences. Perhaps you’ve heard people making jokes or using insulting slang terms when talking about homosexuality. If so, this may have caused you to wonder if your homosexual feelings or experiences are really OK. Perhaps you have heard someone say that homosexuality is morally wrong, sinful, unnatural, abnormal or a sign of mental illness. If so, this, too, may have made you wonder or worry about your own feelings. If you’ve heard any of these things (or even if you haven’t), we think it will be helpful for you to know the basic facts about homosexuality.

Although almost everyone has homosexual feelings or experiences at some time or another in their lives, we usually consider people to be homosexuals only if as adults their strongest romantic and sexual attractions are towards someone of the same sex or most of their actual sexual experiences involve someone of the same sex.

Both males and females may be homosexuals. Female homosexuals are also called lesbians. Gay is a non-insulting slang term for both male and female homosexuals. There have been homosexuals throughout history, and homosexuals come from all walks of life. People from any social class, ethnic background, religious affiliation, or economic level may be homosexual. Doctors, lawyers, lorry drivers, policemen, artists, business people, ministers, rabbis, priests, politicians, soccer players, married people, single people, parents – you name it – all sorts of people are homosexuals.

The majority of adults in our society are heterosexuals (people whose strongest romantic and sexual attractions are towards the opposite sex and whose actual sexual experiences mostly involve the opposite sex). However, about one in every ten adults is a homosexual. Although an adult is usually considered either a homosexual or a heterosexual, this doesn’t mean that he or she doesn’t sometimes have feelings or experiences in the other direction. Very few people are strictly homosexual or strictly heterosexual. Most of us have a mixture of feelings. For instance, most heterosexuals have at least some homosexual thoughts, feelings, fantasies, dreams, attractions, crushes, or sexual experiences at some time in their lives. In fact, over one-third of the males in this country will have a sexual experience with another male to the point of orgasm during their lives. Although the numbers are somewhat lower for females, many females also have this sort of sexual activity with another female some time during their lives.

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